Gong Xi Fa Cai, i want ang pau!=D

Happy happy Chinese new year everyone!

Ooh, wait wait..see who else is sending the greetings..

*Awwww, the cutie cutie ox baby!*

Cant believe it is the year of the ox already! The last time i celebrated it i was still in primary six, getting ready to sit for the then very important UPSR. haha.. time can indeed change your perspectives on life. Now, UPSR seem like cracking kacang only..lol

How i wished to be at home now.. but i am sure the celebration in UK is just as good! Really looking forward to it. Have a wonderful CNY season everyone, =) especially to my fellow MPharmers, doing research in a lab can be one interesting way to spend CNY=.=

frustration- please let me vent it

I am so frustrated with myself. all because of the stupid OSCE=(

I have prepared. I have practiced. But nervousness like to be an uninvited guest, and to a person prone to having "blank mind" attack, it becomes a disaster.

Its weird talking to the "patient", and not knowing what to ask next because i am just nervous for NO reason. All the while realizing i SHOULD stop being nervous, START being composed but somehow just could not do it. The frustration increased more when i was assesed by lecturers who are strict, knowing that i could do better than this. Just not this time.. and tell them this is the one and exceptional case i did so bad. Ooh, how i wish to have a second chance. If time could be rewind.

However, for now, i dont want second chance, because that means resitting. I just want to pass and get done with it. ohya, time to move on..

my morning penny of thought

I am due to have OSCE in a few hours time. And for me, the most important THING before any exam is SLEEP. Needless to explain, sleep is just so important for me to think clearly, for my brain to function. Contrary to common perception, i LOVE sleep. But lately, sleep keep eluding me. Or more accurately, i am VERY Good at waking up. I have a tendency to wake up at the same time no matter how late i sleep.. and i very seldom nap no matter how tired.


Sometimes, i think i would be better than rooster - in knowing when morning dawns.








Anyway, i intend to blog about this drama that i cant stop watching these few days. Its called Little Nyonya. highly recommended!=)

Generally, its a story about peranakan families that span 5 generations, about their culture, their lifestyles and more importantly, of individual lives that tell lessons we could all benefit.

The lady in white above played a double role of mother and daughter. Their fate is almost similar: born in a rich family as "siao jie", but their fate ironically makes them lowly servants in that house. However their strong-willed character brought them to survive day after day despite very unfair ill treatments. They held their head high with integrity when they looked down on. And they were still so kind despite being always taken advantage of. This, i salute and admire.

Havent finished watching the drama yet... Watching the drama, i could not help but feel thankful that i was born in this modern age. And not at a time when arranged marriages is in place, and women cant do as they please. Their life is like robots, with little real control over what they want. As a result, women fight against each other instead and life just get complicated.

I have a fondness for singaporean dramas, simply because i feel the stories are not too cheesy, unique with humour we malaysians can easily identify with. Most importantly, i feel the story lines are real : not too much gloss-over on some sad reality of life and at the same time, there are happy moments that add spice to it.

If too much drama is not your cup of tea (i confess, i felt tired watching so many injustices in the movie at times, that i want to be the director instead. haha), then.. dont watch, Lol. However, the cast of good looking actors and actresses are a bonus for "cuci mata"!

It is also enlightening to see how they prepare various nyonya dishes with care, and realize so many food that i like are in fact nyonya food! I am quite ignorant to that, because my grandma is a pro in cooking them and coming from china, i assume they are aunthentic chinese cuisines.. Ooh, i am impressed with my ahma now. Haha, thinking about her, i have to say she speaks a fluent Iban language, which i am way way behind even though i have got Iban blood in me! *blush, paiseh*

Lessons

My new year frankly speaking, did not really start off well.

Within less than a month time, i have lost few things precious to me: Bible, laptop still not working and the precious watch which my mommy gave for me to keep when i left home for college years ago.

There are also other things in life that could not be described with words. Difficult situation present itself, that only the heart knows the burden. And only God knows and if fortunate, you get some people that cross your life path that can identify with you.

Sometimes, giving up felt like a great way out. Holding on to the truth of scripture or promise of God's word seem like climbing mountains. A task you doubt can even complete. But its also at difficult time like this that simple things shine so bright and catch your attention, making one feels contented very easily.

A case in point is the things that happen this past week. There was this exam, which i can tell you is the worst i have had. I know i am not the only one who felt that, but for me i guess its just so strange that i got my panic attack and blank mind at the most crucial time. I sat looking at the clock and even after writing, i dont even know what i have written. After that, i got so angry with myself,sad and just miserable. Tried and tried to be upbeat but failed. And this makes me even more frustrated with myself.

Then, i went home and on opening the door, i saw this little parcel sitting there, and i saw my name. A sense of surprise washed over me, and i was instantly overjoyed like a kid seeing her candy. I have got parcels in the past, but this time its different. Because i know HOW diffficult it is to post such a small parcel from home; though small, inside it contains bits of sacrificial love in the form of cakes and cookies. That moment i still felt sad but it did not seem to be that big deal anymore. Something had just been lifted off my shoulder..in an instant.

Looking back, i was also touched by little messages here and there from unexpected places, eg: card, chatting messages and phone calls, that you know could not have happened without God behind them. Friends who take time to encourage despite having their own worries. Those friends are few, but just like gems, once you found them, you are rich. They understand you. Words dont even have to be many, just a simple encouragement, and it has already managed to lift you above the cloud.

That day, the parcel became my teacher. I got to know later that there are many ways that are highly likely to happen, which can prevent the parcel from getting into my hand. But it did arrive, at the right time to have its own purpose. Through this, I am humbled to be cared by a God who already thought of orchestrating a way to cheer me up in my dark times, way before the gloomy moment arrive.

I am sure there are lots of hurdles up ahead for me to face. But one thought that will always encourage me is this: one will never know what is sweet until one has tasted sour.

2009 - A season of its own.

New year, new dreams and new blog!!

Well, i do have lots of persuasive friends, huh? *wink*. Not easy to get me to switch from xanga to blogspot, after all, i am very sentimental for the things i am familiar with. But then, there is no harm in giving this site a go, seeing that lots of people around me have testified and singing praises about it. And for an amateur blogger like me, i better listen to the "seniors" in this field!=p

New year had always mean we should start kicking ourselves thinking about resolutions we want to achieve. Unlike years before, i didnt give this a thought before last year ended. Not because i forgot, i think its more like i didnt want to. This simply because 2009 seems like a year with lots of uncertainties, that i dread to find out, with student life ends and working life begins. And also adjusting to a new life back home. Sounds paradoxical, right? After all, home..thats where you grow up, what is there to adjust? Sigh, no words can even start to describe this.

But, after attending MCC, God started to move me into thinking that i can still dream of great things to come and look forward to them. And enjoy everybit of my life, walking hand in hand with Him and trust Him who sees the future, instead of straining my neck seeing things too in front of me. =)

So, i have come up with a list of "dreams" that hopefully will come to pass this year. I put them as dreams because i believe God of all dreams will make them real if they are in His will. On the other hand, if dream dont come true, its ok! It is not like its going to be the end of the world.

Ok, here goes SOME of my dreams: (btw, promise me you wont laugh no matter how silly they are!)

#1: *drum rolls*************************************

I want to see another snowing scene please! Amen. Haha, thought i should put this first because winter is slowly passing by and i want to catch the last glimpse of snowy beautiful scene in UK before heading home.

Snow, snow, where are u???????

#2: Try horse riding.

I can still remember what i wrote when i was asked to write what dream i want to see come true one day in the school magazine during Form 5. I put down, erm ...."whisper into the ears of horses". Lol, random stuff i know. Got to be the most absurd among all the entries! But i figured why write something usual, when u can go for something near impossible.

And to me that time, going UK is a dream, and i thought there are sure lots of horses there compared to malaysia. So i put it down, wondering how on earth am i going to see that day.

However, fast forward a few years, the first part of impossibility had already came to pass, so i guess i should start finding the horses to make this dream come true. *grin* erm, after all, its impossible they will suddenly appear in front of you, or will they??

Well, this will do for now at least...

#3: Travel to Italy and France.

Have i told anyone that my ambition last time is to be an archaeologist? I USED to love history a lot, reading about the bygone days with fascination. Blame it partly on watching too much sitcoms eg relic hunter, that makes you think you can discover gold or treasure in ruins. But luckily reality get better hold of me to do pharmacy (or is it?), rather than studying some random rocks under the hot sun! Phew!!

Anyway, Italy is the first top destination i have always wanted to go, being, well.. so historical. haha. But then for some reasons, i have always ended up travelling to another country. Quite frustrating to be frank. However, now i think i know why. I am happy happy to say that i am going to travel to Italy and France this summer with none other than my two dearest brothers!!

Tell you, never ever in my wildest dream had i given this a thought. Until i talked to my older bro one day and he said, "hey, if got time, arrange to go Italy and France for the three of us. We have to go together and have crazy fun times, because three of us had not been taking photos together for a long long time!"

I paused for a moment, and then I was like, "ohyeah, you are right." The last photo we had together was when brother graduated four years ago. That one apart, all others were taken when we were small, like this:

Ohmy, we had grown so much!*gasp, look at the candles!*

That's why i am so looking forward to this trip: To be finally able to eat gelato, pizza, french cuisine, go to vatican, colosseum etc etc, and having two professional photographers with me is definitely a bonus! Yeah yeah. Dear bros, i wont object to be your model, ok?=p